
My favorite way to spend the morning.

My favorite way to spend the morning.

Jen got a new hoodie. It has adorable animal ears. She said she wanted it to be a kangaroo, but kangaroos aren’t grey. I offered that they might be grey when they grow old.

We’ve started a new trend to celebrate birthdays – birthday cupcakes delivered to us! Delicious!
Today I took my motorcycle license exam. I was nervous about making the appointment. It’s been six months since I took the motorcycle safety class. Part of the class involved the driving portion of the license exam; I had one year from completion of the class to complete the written portion of the exam, which could only be taken at the DMV.
One of the last times I was in the DMV involved a fairly traumatic and embarrassing experience. It was September, 1992. I had just moved to San Francisco. I wanted to get my CA driver license as quickly as possible, to start the clock ticking to qualify for in-state residency (I thought I wanted to go to a UC graduate school. I ended up in Egypt instead. That’s another story.). I went to the DMV, stood in line, completed an application form, showed them my NC driver license and they told me I’d have to take an exam. I was a little surprised (I already had a license), but figured I was there, so I might as well take it. How hard could it be? I had been driving for years at that point. I took the multiple choice exam and handed it to the examiner. She marked one question wrong with her red pen, then another, then another. I was slightly worried, but not really. You were allowed to miss up to ten questions. There was no way I’d miss more than ten. Except I did. I missed 11. The examiner handed me back my paper with a huge “-11” circled in the middle of the page. She gave me a study book and nonchalantly said, “Why don’t you study for a few minutes and come back to retake the exam.”
Here’s the embarrassing part. I had never failed before. Especially not on a test. I looked at the study guide, burst into tears, and ran out of the very crowded DMV, sobbing.
In hindsight, I’m truly grateful for that experience. I have failed at many things since then, which has made me realize it’s not that big of a deal. The world doesn’t end, I grow a little more resilient, and I take bigger risks. And occasionally, there are tears.
I studied for the motorcycle exam, as well as the regular driver license exam (both were required). I took all the sample tests online and read the manual. Multiple times. This morning, I wore one of my favorite dresses and my friend Warren drove me to the DMV, providing a pep talk and moral support.
The DMV is a soulless institution. There is a prevalence of drudgery in the atmosphere. It was as though I had stepped out of a Technicolor world, into a black and white scene. I took my number. I completed the form. I answered the verbal questions, had an eye exam, and provided my fingerprints. I stood in line again. I took a photo, paid a fee, and took an exam. And then another one. I waited in another line. One by one, our tests were graded. I was nervous. I greeted the inspector with a smile. The rules had changed. Now you’re only allowed to miss three questions on the regular driver license exam and four on the motorcycle exam. He graded my regular driver license exam first. With his red pen perched, he wrote a number in the center of the paper and circled it. 100. He looked up. “Not bad,” he said. “Let’s see how you do on the next one. That’s the one that people usually mess up on.” I smiled. His red pen hovered. What was probably only a minute or two passed, although it seemed like much longer. “Not bad at all. You only missed one. Hm.” He looked up. “You’re going to ride a motorcycle?” I nodded and smiled.
This time, instead of crying and sobbing as I left the DMV, I was beaming and doing a “Life is good and I have my motorcycle license” dance. A much better way to leave.

Celebrating getting my motorcycle license with our favorite Korean food at Han Il Kwan.
I’ve seen this happen at so many companies I’ve worked out. Someone is spectacular as an individual contributor, so they’re promoted to a managerial position, yet not given the training or support to learn new skills. They’re reluctant to share they’re struggling, because they were promoted because they were a superstar. I love that the company mentioned in the original article supports developers turned managers to return to developers, rewarding them for the skills that led to their promotion in the first place.
I had Easter dinner with my godson, George, this year. My 18 year-old, getting ready to head off to college godson. I’ve always loved spending time with him, and this year I have sought out as many opportunities as possible, knowing that he’ll be off on a college campus next year. As we sat down to dinner, his dad mentioned that George had prepared the egg game on his own this year. The egg game is one we play on various occasions throughout the year, in which each person has a plastic egg with a crumpled up piece of paper inside. On the paper is a somewhat discussion provoking, somewhat awkward question. The person with the question answers, then other people at the table often share their own stories.
Clark, to my right, had the question, “What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in?” After he answered, I thought about this. There have been the minor instances in which I was stopped by the police in a foreign country without my passport and ended up in jail for a few hours, as well as the times that I knew I was doing something wrong (ie underage drinking on a country road) and happened to get caught, but the time that stood out for me most vividly was a time when I truly didn’t intend to do anything wrong. And got in a surprising amount of trouble for it.
I probably was 8 or 9 years old. Maybe 7. My mother worked part-time, and my younger sister and I were often at home alone for a an hour or two after school each day until she came home. On Wednesday afternoons we had “Wonderful Wednesdays” at church, a time for social fellowship and a bible story or two. It was near Easter, and there was going to be an Easter egg hunt during the Wonderful Wednesday program at the church. I can’t remember if mom had not had a chance to dye Easter eggs, or if I thought we needed more. What I do remember is thinking I would be very helpful. I took the container of eggs out of the refrigerator, prepared the dye (mixing vinegar and food coloring, as I’d seen mom do each year), and dyed a dozen eggs. A neighbor picked up me and my sister and took us to the church. I gave my basket of eggs to the leader to hide. The children played inside while the leaders hid the eggs we had all brought in the woods, in the grass, and around the building.
And then the hunt began. We ran in all directions, swinging our baskets and squealing with excitement when we found an egg. And then there was crying. And yelling. A little girl had picked up an egg rather forcefully and it had broken in her hand, raw yolk dripping all over her dress. A couple of other children had done the same. The leader was hollering, “Who brought these eggs? Who decided to play a prank and bring raw eggs? Everyone over here!”
We lined up and the leader continued to interrogate us. She focused her ire at the older children, the middle school and junior high students. “Who brought raw eggs?” I recognized the broken shells in my friends’ hands. I timidly said, while looking at the ground, “Maybe those are the eggs I brought.” The leader came closer and bent down so that her face was very close to mine. “What did you say?” I looked at her. “I think maybe those are my eggs. I think those are the eggs I brought. I didn’t know they would break. I didn’t know you were supposed to cook the eggs. I wasn’t trying to play a joke.” I simultaneously saw on the other children’s faces relief (they weren’t the object of interrogation anymore) and apprehension (what was going to happen to me). The rest of the afternoon was a blur. I wasn’t allowed to participate in any of the other activities and fully understood the meaning of reprimanded by the time the evening was over. My mother wasn’t very happy either.
In hindsight, I remember this story and laugh hysterically. Had I wanted to play a prank, this would have been a good one. I’m kind of surprised it hadn’t happened before. I learned how to boil eggs after that. From then on, however, I always brought plastic eggs filled with jelly beans to Easter egg hunts. Just to be on the safe side.
A friend asked me if I’d like to volunteer for the Princess Project. The Princess Project collects formal dresses throughout the year, then on a few weekends in the spring sets up a temporary “store” and girls who might otherwise might not have had a prom dress come in and shop. I’m generally game for any volunteer opportunities, so I said yes.
I was re-thinking my decision when my alarm went off at 6 am on Sunday morning. I dressed in pink, as the email instructed, and sleepily made my way downtown. We listened as the volunteer coordinator described the various duties. I was assigned to be a personal shopper and a runner, someone who takes tried on, but not wanted, dresses from the dressing rooms back to the racks.
I don’t have the opportunity to interact with teenagers very often. I loved it. I loved seeing them roll their eyes when I suggested dresses. It made me think of all the times I rolled my eyes at my mom when she suggested an outfit or two. Karma, right? I loved hearing them describe their perfect dress: short hem, strapless, peach colored, no sequins, boa okay, taffeta, and there better not be anyone else at the prom with anything similar on. Okay. Are you willing to concede on any of those requirements? No? Okay, let’s start looking. I loved when they came out of the dressing room, found me, and showed me the dress they were going to the prom in.
It’s great to donate money to causes you believe in. And there’s something incredibly powerful about volunteering and interacting with the end recipients of a project. A friend I volunteered with described it as experiencing impact. I’d describe it simply as fun.

We loved tea at the Plaza so much, we decided to recreate it here at home. Cheerio, ladies!

Crazy crowded. With lots of great music. Austin, I ❤ you.