LoriLoo

I Would Walk 500 Miles

January 2, 2022

Asheville Living, bloganuary, Travel

Today’s Bloganuary prompt is:

What is a road trip you would love to take?

Going anywhere with good friends is a treasure. But road trips aren’t my favorite. Mainly because I don’t enjoy driving (that’s what living in a city for 25 years with no car will do to you) and riding as a passenger lulls me to sleep immediately.

Walking, however, is another story. I love walking. I love the rhythm of walking, the ability to take so much in. You move slowly enough that the details don’t escape you. My favorite manner of walking is walking without a schedule. Meandering and allowing the day to unfold. There are a couple of walks in the United Kingdom that have piqued my interest – the Coast to Coast, the walk along Hadrian’s Wall. And once there, I’m sure I would discover many more.

For now, though, I’m happy walking the trails of the Blue Ridge Mountains when I can sneak away, or walking through Asheville neighborhoods and the Arboretum with Mom when I can’t.

7 comments on I Would Walk 500 Miles
Bloganuary

January 1, 2022

bloganuary

I’m super excited to be participating in Bloganuary, a month long blogging challenge. (You can join, too – the more the merrier!) Today’s prompt:

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Oh, goodness. I’m not sure my teenage self would have listened. But I would have told her to embrace her quirkiness; it’s something to celebrate, not something to be hidden. And to focus on the moment, and not try to plan so far in advance, because things will change in ways that you can’t even imagine.

Advice that I loved that my teenage self embraced, without being told, was embracing every opportunity that came her way, and defaulting to “yes” not “no.” Here’s to another year of “yes!” Happy 2022!

2 comments on Bloganuary
Me vs The Voles

December 31, 2021

Asheville Living

Voles have overtaken my yard. I’m generally a “live and let live” type of gal. And, these voles have more or less recreated the Sierras in my yard (front and back) so that walking through the yard is a hazard. Something had to be done.

A neighbor told me that voles don’t like castor oil. So I bought four bottles of castor oil from the drugstore, mixed them with water in a spray bottle, and coated our lawn.

I was severely underwhelmed by the results.

What I expected: Voles, overwhelmed by the scent of castor oil, exiting my yard en masse. Kind of like the reaction of the Wicked Witch of the West when she was doused with water. Or Moses, parting the Red Sea. An immediate, grand, response.

What actually happened: Nothing.

No voles left my yard. If anything, they created more tunnels. So I bought castor oil granules, which you spread over the lawn and in the tunnels, and methodically move the voles one direction or the other. I don’t love this option, because this simply means moving the voles to another spot. ie, to one of my neighbors’ yards. So I’m trying to move them towards the street, to the very wide swatch of grass between the sidewalk and the road.

I’ll report back in a week.

4 comments on Me vs The Voles
Night Visitor

November 3, 2021

Alzheimer’s, Asheville Living, family, grief

You crack the door and shuffle in

Crying hysterically

Ugly crying

Face swollen with red blotches

You crawl into my bed

And snuggle hard, grabbing my hand to your face

Through tears, you sob

He’s dead, isn’t he?

I inhale then whisper

Yes.

Why didn’t anyone tell me?

We were there with him, Mom

We held his hand and told him we loved him

More sobbing.

More sobbing.

More sobbing.

I think you are asleep when

You stumble out of my bed

I’m going back to my room

I see you turn towards the guest bedroom and

Gently guide you back to your room

Where are you taking me?

You yell

Back to your room, Mom

It’s time for bed

A tight hug and you sob

What is wrong with my head?

Why don’t I know anything?

I tell you it’s okay, tuck you in, return to my room,

and

ugly cry.

8 comments on Night Visitor
Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2021

Asheville Living, family, Holidays

“We haven’t seen this many children in eons!”

Mom was in her element. She loves socializing. She loves children. She loves candy. We sat on the porch in rocking chairs, 6 feet away from the small table with a huge bowl of candy on it. As soon as she saw children approaching on the sidewalk (a good 30 feet from where we were sitting), she started gesturing, inviting them to our porch, “Come here! Come here!”

“How many can I take?” the unicorns, Cruella DeVils, Spidermen, and vampires asked.

“As many as you want, sweetie!” I tried to explain to her that we’d likely get hundreds of children over the course of the evening, so maybe we’d want to limit them to 1 or 2 pieces. “Oh, yes, that’s what I was thinking.”

The next group of children arrived. “Look at you! Aren’t you just precious! Take as much as you like!” Fists emerged with overflowing handfuls of miniature candy.

It was more important for her to enjoy herself that for us not to run out of candy. Mentally, I started thinking about what else we had in the cupboards. A box or two of granola bars. Some small bags of peanuts. Possibly some hot cocoa packets? If nothing else, I had some one dollar bills we could give out if we ran out of everything else. Do kids use Venmo at Halloween?

The kids would leave and she’d exclaim again, “I don’t know when we’ve seen this many children!” Then she’d laugh and laugh and laugh.

“We’re having a good day today, aren’t we?” I often say what I want her to believe.

“I haven’t had this much fun in ages!” Me, too, Mom. Me, too.

2 comments on Happy Halloween!
A Stitch in Time

August 31, 2021

Alzheimer’s, Asheville Living, family

“Really? Really?” She said with tears in her eyes. “You would do that for me?”

“Of course, Mom. I’m happy to.”

The “that” in question was repairing the hem in a pair of pants.

Mornings generally follow this pattern: I wake up first. I get myself together, make a cuppa tea, start work. I hear Mom wake up. It could be 8:30 am, it could be 10 am. I go upstairs, help her pick out clothes, and start her shower for her, making sure she has a clean washcloth and towel. Once she’s in the shower, I leave, still listening carefully for any loud thumps.

We were at the picking out clothes stage. There was a pair of pants she wanted to wear, but part of the hem in one leg had come out. She was utterly distraught. Barely awake, she couldn’t seem to grasp the task of getting a needle and thread and repairing the hem. Which is why I offered.

“You get in the shower, and I’ll have your pants hemmed and ready by the time you get out.”

She hugged me hard and stumbled into the bathroom.

As I hemmed her pants, I pondered. Why was this the task that moved her? Why was hemming part of one leg of a pair of pants appreciated so much? More than buying a house. More than moving in together. More than going on daily walks. More than eating meals together. More than comforting her when she wakes up at 1 am, or 5 am, crawling into my bed, grieving Dad.

There often isn’t much logic to our days now. But there is a lot of gratitude. Flowing both ways.

3 comments on A Stitch in Time
I Scream! You Scream! We All Scream for Ice Cream!

July 30, 2021

Alzheimer’s, Asheville Living, family, Food

She could eat nothing but Chips Ahoy! and ice cream and be perfectly content. She’ll go to the pantry, get a handful of cookies, and on the way back to the living room take a bite of a cookie, set it down, take a bite of another cookie, set it down, and by the time she gets to the couch, she might have one cookie left. Or none. Or she may sit down for a moment then say, “I think I’ll get a cookie” and the process repeats itself. Throughout the day I gather up cookies and put them back in the packaging.

And ice cream. Oh, how she loves ice cream. After every meal she asks for ice cream. As I walk into the kitchen to get it for her she yells, “And a cookie!” She’ll finish the bowl, bring it to me as I’m cleaning up in the kitchen, and say, “I think I’d like some ice cream.” Depending on how much energy I have, I may explain that she’s holding her empty bowl, and has just finished her ice cream, or I may simply dole out another scoop. Given how often she eats ice cream, I make the scoops appear large, yet they are hollow. I pull the ice cream scooper along the top of the carton, and the ice cream forms a large curl. I arrange the scoops so that it appears to be a full bowl of perfectly rounded scoops. I use tiny bowls so that it appears she has a lot.

Last night I walked into the kitchen and found Mom at the counter, scooping out her own ice cream. She didn’t have a tiny bowl, but instead a large coffee mug. And she was packing it in. She scooped almost a third of a carton of ice cream into the mug then walked onto the porch to eat it. The carton was still on the counter; the freezer door open. I tidied up and joined her on the porch. “Is it good?” “Mmmm hmmm,” she replied, staring into space and spooning bite by bite into her mouth, rocking slowly in the dusk.

It was ice cream that alerted me something was wrong. It was summer 2015 and Mom and Dad and I were in Italy. They would send me to the gelato stand to fight the throngs of tourists, while they found a quiet reprieve nearby. I’d get our cones, bring them back, and no matter what flavor Mom had asked for, she would say, “I didn’t order that” and take my cone or cup. At first I thought she was joking with me, even though none of us were laughing. One day I realized she really didn’t remember what she ordered, and took whatever looked best.

It’s somehow easier to deal with when I remember it’s not intentional; it’s how her brain works now. And when I remember to order two cones of the same flavor.

2 comments on I Scream! You Scream! We All Scream for Ice Cream!
Anything at All!

June 30, 2021

Alzheimer’s, Asheville Living, family

As we left the store, Mom turned to me and said, “Do you remember when Daddy was dying?”

I nodded. “Yes, I do remember that.”

“Do you remember how he said, ‘You buy her anything she wants. Anything at all.’”

I looked at Mom, stifling a smile. “Who was the her?”

“Me.”

“No, I don’t think I remember that.”

Straight faced, she said, “He did. He said to buy me everything I want.”

With a laugh, I said, “Well, we better get started.”

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In Search of a Honky Tonk

May 13, 2021

Alzheimer’s, Asheville Living, family

Whew. It’s been three months (almost) since we moved to the new house. For three months, I’ve felt as though I’ve simply been trying to survive. And I finally feel like I can take a deep breath without threat of an emergency looming.

The first two and a half months were filled with tears. From Mom. Every. Single. Day. The gut-wrenching, sobbing, face-swelling tears. She hated the new house that she had declared we had to move into. She missed Dad. She missed her friends in Winston-Salem. She didn’t think the house was tall enough, and began plans to build a third floor. She hated the yard. As soon as her caretaker would go to the bathroom during the work day, she would sneak into my office, crying hysterically. Her doctor asked me if perhaps she were pulling at my heartstrings. Perhaps?

Even though Mom has Alzheimer’s, and asks me the same question multiple times in a row, I’ve been hesitant to say anything that could be misleading. In my mind I wondered, “What if this were the one time when her memory worked?” I finally realized that reality is fleeting, and it’s better to say what works in the moment rather than what might be considered the absolute truth.

Recently, she’s created the reality that Dad bought this house for us before he died. That this was where he wanted us to be. I’ve nodded and said, “Yes, he thought we’d be happy here.” And I do believe, if there is a heaven, or if there are souls, that he does believe we would be, or that we are, happy here. Thanks, Dad.

Mom and I spend a lot of time on the front porch in rocking chairs. I’ve had to come to terms that it’s okay not to be productive all the time. It’s been a hard lesson to welcome. We spend hours each evening, just sitting and rocking. Sometimes talking. Sometimes being. As we were sitting, she asked me what time it was. Time is confusing for Mom. I told her it was 5:00. She threw her arms up in the air and shouted, “YES!” I was flabbergasted by this response and asked why she was so excited that it was 5:00. She explained, “After 5:00, we’re allowed to go anywhere!” I nodded, wondering why we couldn’t go wherever we wanted before 5:00. She followed up with, “Do you know of any good honky tonks around here?” I stared at my God-fearing, church-going, stricter-than-all-get-out punishing mother in awe.

“I’m not sure I do, Mom. But I suppose we can find one.”

6 comments on In Search of a Honky Tonk
Random Positivity

April 30, 2021

Asheville Living
A colleague shared this with me today:

In the spirit of random positivity, here are some things I like that you might want to try. No affiliate links or anything, just some random things I found worth my money or time.

It got me thinking about random positivity and things I love. And maybe you would, too!
- US Postal Stamps – One of my favorite things to do is write postcards and letters. In addition to picking out lovely cards, I like choosing the perfect stamp.
- Tulips – Carolina Flowers delivers bundles of joy. Each bunch of flowers is freshly cut and makes me smile each time I see them.
- Method hand and dishwashing soap refills – I’m trying to cut down on disposable containers, buying things in bulk or large quantities whenever possible. And I love the scent of clementine and pink grapefruit!
- A Good Dental Floss – See above about cutting down on disposable containers. This floss is amazing and comes in a refillable glass container. No plastic to throw out!
- Penzey’s spices – options to buy in large bags and refill glass containers. And they’re so tasty!
- Planet Money podcast – I listen to this while cooking dinner each evening. Some favorite recent episodes: Workin’ 9 to 5, Nigeria, You Win! (Update), and The Mixtape Drama.
- VEO citrus all purpose cleaner – Gosh, this makes the whole house smell delicious!
- Dyson vacuum cleaner – My favorite chore is vacuuming. And I’m amazed every time I vacuum with my Dyson – how did this much dirt get into my house?
- Malie Pikake body lotion – I keep this on my desk and hydrate my hands throughout the day. If I close my eyes, I can imagine I’m in Hawaii. Blisssss…..
- Bio-Skin masks – So many patterns! And the fabric is soft and comfortable. Can wear all day long!
- Wool & Company Rowena swing dress – I have this dress in multiple colors and wear a version almost every day. So comfortable. And pockets!
- Pipe Wrench magazine – This is the dinner party of newsletters. So many opinions, so many entertaining newsletters! Sign up now and be prepared to be entertained.
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