If you grew up in the 1970s in Forsyth County, North Carolina, you know that this was one of the line items on your onion skin thin quarterly report card. You were scored 1 to 3, one being the best (that you avoided unnecessary talking), 3 being the worst (that you fully engaged in unnecessary talking).

I consistently received 3s for this category.

A dear friend (who also received 3s) and I were talking over brunch recently about how this was the most unnecessary, and potentially harmful, data point ever. Who is it to judge whether talking and communicating is necessary or unnecessary? The teachers thought it was their place. But what were they really teaching us?

Some of my fondest memories have come from what could have been deemed unnecessary talking. Striking up a conversation with a seatmate on a plane or train, leading to unexpected invitations for things I would have otherwise never experienced. Talking to walkers as they pass my house, learning about volunteer opportunities that have enriched my life. Talking to strangers at rallies and protests, creating some of my deepest local friendships. Asking questions of classmates and teachers that could have be considered off-topic, to discover a new passion.

I haven’t seen a report card in almost 30 years, ever since I left the field of education. But I really, really hope that this isn’t something students continue to be graded on. Because unnecessary talking is one of the greatest gifts one can have.