You crack the door and shuffle in

Crying hysterically

Ugly crying

Face swollen with red blotches

You crawl into my bed

And snuggle hard, grabbing my hand to your face

Through tears, you sob

He’s dead, isn’t he?

I inhale then whisper

Yes.

Why didn’t anyone tell me?

We were there with him, Mom

We held his hand and told him we loved him

More sobbing.

More sobbing.

More sobbing.

I think you are asleep when

You stumble out of my bed

I’m going back to my room

I see you turn towards the guest bedroom and

Gently guide you back to your room

Where are you taking me?

You yell

Back to your room, Mom

It’s time for bed

A tight hug and you sob

What is wrong with my head? 

Why don’t I know anything?

I tell you it’s okay, tuck you in, return to my room,

and

ugly cry.