I marvel at those ladies. You know, those ladies, who, no matter what time of day, no matter where they are, are well coiffed. Their makeup is perfect, and not a single hair is out of place. When I see them, I wonder, “How do they do that?”

I’ve never had the time or patience to wear makeup or blow dry my hair, much less style it.

Today, however, I decided to venture to their world. Tonight was Ev and Sara’s wedding. I made an appointment with my hair stylist, Jay, whom I adore. I told him I was going to a fancy schmancy wedding and I wanted to look beautiful.

“More beautiful, darlin‘,” he replied.

I love my hair dresser.

He pulled and tugged and dried and curled and pinned my hair. I sat quietly, dying to know what he was doing at the back of my head, but trying to exercise patience. When done, he handed me a mirror. “I love it! It’s so elegant!”

“Here, darlin‘, let me do your makeup.” I was enthralled. I was going to be one of them — one of the well-coiffed.

He dabbed and patted and used fancy brushes on my face. He smudged colors on my eyes and my cheeks. With tweezers he dipped trios of eyelashes into glue and placed them gently on my top lids. When done, he handed me the mirror again.

I was one of them. One of the well-coiffed.

But not for long.

I didn’t realize the wedding would be outside. In addition to being chilly, summer in San Francisco is windy. Very, very windy. The wind challenged my beautifully coiffed hair. I felt hair pins slipping out. As I reached up to secure them, I noticed something fly insanely close to my eye. And then again. And again. Oh, no. The fake eyelashes were flying off, trio by trio. Giving up, I faced the wind, and let them all fly.

Note to self: being well-coiffed takes time, patience, a great hair dresser, and climate control.