“Are you a member of our frequent buyer program?” he asked me as I purchased several birthday cards.

“No,” I said as I handed him cash.

“Would you like to be?”

I thought. One more card to keep up with. I join all these programs then lose the cards. “Sure.”

“You know, we have locations everywhere, not just in San Francisco. Even in the Midwest.”

I look like I’m from the Midwest? Oh, Lord.