Ladies’ Night

Michelle, Cindy and I had plans to go downtown for dinner and shopping tonight. I met them at the school at 6, we caught the bus and we were on our way. Whenever I’m with them, I feel like I’m back in junior high school. For one thing, they both look incredibly young. On Michelle’s first day at work I mistook her for a new high school student. They have such an aura of sweetness about them. We always walk arms intertwined and usually end up giggling more than talking. And, it could be the language barrier, but the topics we end up talking about are very, well, interesting. They are very curious. They want to know what type of cosmetics I use. My favorite color of underwear. What I eat for each meal. What Korean pop stars I know. Who I think is cute.

We ate first at XN Milano, a large department store downtown with restaurants on the top floors. We decided on Chinese food – yummy. Over dinner I turned to Michelle and said, “You were very upset on the way home last Friday night. In the cab. Remember? (she nodded) I don’t understand why. Could you explain?” And here’s where life imitates art once again.

The Saga Continues…

Cast of characters. Me. Mr. Drunk Dialer. Boy #1. Michelle. Cindy. Boy Teacher #1, Boy Teacher #2 (neither present Friday night)

Hierarchy. Michelle and Cindy work for Boy #1. Mr. Drunk Dialer is Boy #1’s direct boss. Mr. Drunk Dialer is Michelle and Cindy’s indirect boss. He is sort of my boss.

Michelle explained Boy #1 has a crush on me. But, he thinks I like Mr. Drunk Dialer. So he was distraught on Friday night. Because he had organized the whole evening then Mr. Drunk Dialer invited himself along. He is friends with Michelle (as well as her boss). The more he drank, the more distraught he became. He was sharing his feelings with Michelle, but started touching *her* inappropriately (in her opinion – however, in the cab, she was so upset she said he was touching *me* inappropriately), holding her arm while he spoke, etc. She was very uncomfortable.

I suggested maybe he likes *her*. She interjected that maybe, but that would do [Korean word] to her. I looked up the word. Damage. Damage? Because he’s your boss? No, because he’s a different social class. Oh. My. Okay. Continue.

Then, to make matters worse, Michelle is, as she put it, “madly in love” with Boy Teacher #1. But she just found out Boy Teacher #1 is dating someone. And she likes this woman, so she is torn. She wants to hate her, because she loves Boy Teacher #1, but she is her friend. And Boy Teacher #2 is making advances towards her. She doesn’t like him at all. But he won’t get the picture that she doesn’t want to go out with him. He asks her, she says she can’t go, he asks her for another date, she says no, he continues. So all of these culminated on Friday night and she was distraught as well. The interesting thing is that all of the women in this scene were sober, all of the men were drunk. And I still couldn’t understand it.

I’m telling you, this is a tv show waiting to happen.

Photo Op

But on to the rest of the evening. We walked through the department stores, looking at this, looking at that. Trying on sunglasses, hats, makeup. Then, they wanted to get our picture taken. What? Pictures? What do you mean? And they pulled me into a, well, Glamour Shots, but without the glamour, type of place. “Friends. Pictures. Okay?” Well, okay. So we got our pictures taken. The photographer looked at me and shook his head. Very tell. Very tall. He had to adjust just about everything. The lighting. The stool. The table. He arranged us in several poses. Click. Look. Pretty. Click. Click. Good. Click. Click. Click. Okay. Bye.

Oops, I Did It Again…

We exited the studio. I mentioned I needed to get a haircut (meaning in the next few days). Michelle and Cindy dragged me upstairs into a salon. Oh. Not tonight. Really. “No, this good salon. Very good.” But, they were closing. No haircut for the miguk tonight. Michelle and Cindy chatted back and forth in Korean, giggled, then pulled me in another direction. Where are we going? I asked. “Karaoke!” they both giggled. I’m such a bad singer. “Us, too!” No, really, I took a singing class for people who are tone deaf. heehheheheheheheee. We arrived at the karaoke establishment. Which was not a bar, but a collection of rooms. Each group got a private room, where you could sing and dance to your heart’s desire. As soon as we entered the room, Michelle started pressing the buttons. She was a pro. She had a VIP card. She knew what she was doing. Disco lights were spinning; the room was transformed into gyrating rainbows. And Britney Spears was blaring. I really am in junior high. We had 2 microphones and a yellow tambourine. Song after song after song. After they had chosen several Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and Ricky Martin songs, I suggested we sing a Korean song. Oh, yeah! they giggled. I don’t know the name of it, but I know the tune. And the words are right there on the screen, right? How hard could this be? I think I actually sang about 25% of the song. Mostly the last syllables of words: yo, ka, sa-yo, hay. Trying to process flashing Korean characters while singing to a tune you’re not *that* familiar with – it’s a task. But it was fun nonetheless.

At one point Michelle turned to me and said, “Since Boy Teacher #1 no love me – you sing me a love song, okay?” Okay, Michelle. Unchained Melody. But it was the traditional version, not the techno rap one I normally hear in the bars here. Though, I think that would have been more entertaining – techno rap Korean Unchained Melody sung by a tone deaf miguk.

We ended the night with “Under the Sea” because they said I looked like a mermaid the first night they met me – New Year’s Eve, with all my sparkles. As we were leaving, I realized we had laughed non-stop for almost 2 hours. I thought we were heading home, but they said no, we needed to pick up our pictures. They really did turn out cute. We chose the poses we liked the best, then they printed copies for us. While we were waiting for the copies, Michelle and Cindy tried to explain the whole Valentine’s Day, White Day, Black Day, phenomenon again. And I had not even gotten half the story before.

Hallmark, You Ain’t Even Got Game

Valentine’s Day was February 14 – the day for girls to give boys candy and frilly baskets. White Day is coming up next week – March 14 – the day for boys to give girls frilly baskets. Then there is Black Day – April 14 – for people who don’t have sweethearts to go to cafes and eat Chinese black noodles and hope to meet someone. Then May 14 is Ring Day, when you give a ring to a friend, companion, or lover. In June there is Rose Day, when boys give girls a single rose. Then we jumped to December, Kiss Day. But got sidetracked because when they said the word for “kiss” it is very similar to the word for “waterfall” so I thought they were describing waterfall day and I just couldn’t understand. Then our pictures were ready.

As we were looking at them, Michelle’s phone rang. She looked at the number, giggled, and handed the phone to me to answer. “Jobsa-yoooo.” It was Jin Young from work. He had just gotten out of class at the university and wanted to join us. Minutes later he was in the photo shop with us. He looked at the photos and said in Korean that they looked pretty but that I looked like Michelle and Cindy’s grandmother. I turned to him, “Agashi, ani-o ho-monii imnida.” Old man, I am not a grandmother. I’m sure the grammar wasn’t correct, but he understood and burst out laughing. “Who is this Korean with you?” he asked Michelle and Cindy.

Ghosts In The Machine

As we were walking to his car, he was making jokes about “ghosts” in the neighborhood. Look! He would point to nothing but thin air. Meet my friends the ghosts. I began talking to the “ghosts” in Korean, using every phrase I could remember. Hi, my name is Lori. Pleased to meet you. The weather is cold. I like coffee. Turn left here. He looked at me, shook his head, then pointed again. There, American ghosts. Speak to them. English only. Michelle and Cindy nudged him. Leave her alone. Let her speak Korean.

In the car, we were talking about our favorite restaurants. Jin Young turned to me, “Do you like sashimi?” No. Not the raw fish conversation again. Please. Yes, I do. And you? “Yes, it’s my favorite.” And in unison, we both said, “I take you to eat raw fish one day.” He looked at me in surprise, Michelle and Cindy and I just giggled. The perfect ending to a perfect evening.

Not the Most Gentle Bedside Manner…

That’s how I would describe the ophthalmologist I visited this afternoon. Which isn’t a good descriptor for someone who works with eyes.

For the past several days my right eye has burned and my vision has been a little bit blurry. I had LASIK eye surgery in October and am overly sensitive about the state of my eyes. I don’t want to go blind. I also don’t want to visit a doctor that I can’t speak to. The former fear won out.

I asked Little Kim for a recommendation for an eye doctor. He told me to come to the school at 2 and he would take me. Which is very kind, but I saw the potential for problems. I think Little Kim has good intentions, but he’s not the best translator. And to ask him to translate a medical condition – see where I’m going with this?

At 2, we went to the ophthalmologist’s office. We sat in the lobby and he tried to explain the game show that was on the tv. Something about someone calling all of his friends and saying, “Come here now.” But someone is a star. Maybe the caller? Maybe a friend? Then there are many women with silver pompoms. I never understood the concept. This wasn’t making me feel any better about my upcoming conversation with the ophthalmologist.

I was called into the office. The doctor was a small man who reminded me of a gyroscope. In perpetual motion. I said hello and he looked me up and down then laughed. First I sat in one chair. What’s the problem? I explained to Little Kim, he said something to the ophthalmologist. The ophthalmologist said something back. I looked expectantly at Little Kim. “Use eye drops.” I do. Here they are (I had brought them with me in anticipation of this question). The ophthalmologist disappeared. He came back with some individual eye drop samples, like what I used in the States, but can’t find here. Little Kim gave them to me and said, ‘Here, he give to you. They bad.” What? Why are you giving me these to use if they are bad? I looked for an expiration date. “No. Not bad. Good. But expensive. So he don’t buy.” Okay.

He looked at my eyes through one machine. Then he motioned me to another chair and had me read an eye chart (with numbers, not letters). But, should I say the numbers in Korean or English? And which counting system do I use if I say Korean numbers? Il, ee, sam, sa or hanna, tul, set, net? Oh, my god. I can’t remember the word for 6. I turned to Little Kim. He said, “Read numbers. English okay.” Okay. A Korean Vanna White appeared with a long pointer. Starting with the big numbers, moving down. Towards the bottom I had trouble. I squirmed in my seat, turned my head this way and that, guessing. She pointed to one row of numbers. “Mola-yo.” I don’t know. She continued to the next row. “Mola-yo.” I still don’t know, because you’re pointing at a row that is even smaller than the previous one. The next row. “Mola-yo.” Oooooh. As long as I made a sound, she thought I was answering. That I could see the numbers. I turned to Little Kim. “I can’t see those last lines.” Okay, okay, okay.

Back to the first chair, an office chair on wheels. I sat down, the ophthalmologist asked for my hand. My hand? He put it in front of a machine and poofs! of air came out. Then he put my eye there. Each time he shot air at my eyes it stung incredibly. After each poof! I shut my eyes tightly and tried to get them to water. While I had my eyes shut he came around and spun my chair around. I had my back to the machine now. He got very, very, very close to me. He pointed straight ahead. I looked. He tugged on my eyelid and shone a bright light in my eyes. He grunted and pointed another direction. This continued for a few minutes. Ow, ow, ow. Then he went back to his chair.

He started speaking. And speaking. And speaking. For several minutes, that felt like an eternity. He wrote a few optical terms in English on a notepad: cornea, retina, photophobia, blurriness. He stopped. Little Kim turned to me. “Okay, let’s go.” Wait. Aren’t you going to tell me what he just said? “Yes. Lobby.” So we went to the lobby. “He said no big problem. Use drops for 3-4 days and if still problem, come back. Test again.” Wait a minute. I’m using drops now. Regularly. And the problem has been going on for almost a week. So how will anything be different in 3-4 days? “Wait here.” He went back to the doctor. Talk, talk, talk. Back to me. “Different test. Drops in your eyes. Check inside. Very not watching 8 hours.” Ahhhhhhh. He wants to dilate my eyes to do other tests, but not today. Okay.

As we were walking to the elevator, Little Kim said, “You. In there. Look so afraid. No problem. Don’t worry.” Yes, I guess you’re right. But it’s scary to have someone poking at you, blinding you with a bright light, and saying things you can’t understand.

Frog Day

Today is Kyong Chik – Frog Day. The day in which all of the frogs end their hibernation and greet spring. Mr. Nam and I had plans to climb Palgongsan again today. I was looking forward to meeting my first Korean frog.

I woke up to a bright and sunny day – perfect for hiking. I layered and prepared to head out. Right as I was locking the door, I remembered how cold it was last time. But it’s so sunny – should I take my ski jacket? Just in case? No. Yes. No. Oh, let me just grab it. And I was off.

Mr. Nam and I drove the 45 minutes to the outskirts of town to Palgongsan. As we got farther and farther from the city center, the air became crisper and cleaner. More trees, fewer buildings. And…rain. Oh, no. We continued driving. As we began the ascent towards the park’s entrance, the rain turned to snow. Big, fat clumps of snow. Not just falling, but appearing as someone was tossing white flowers over the road. “Look, Rori, mountain happy to see you. Throwing snow to welcome you.” How could I not smile at that? The mountain was glad to see me.

By the time we parked the car it had ceased snowing. We began our hike. Through a woodsy area, along a stream. I asked Mr. Nam where were the frogs? He only laughed. The first part of the trail was gentle. A nice, wide, smooth path, meandering among tall trees. Then we began climbing. It was the perfect trail. Almost entirely rock. And a continuous rise. Stepping from rock, to rock, to rock. Up higher and higher and higher. The rocks, the trees, the path were all covered by a light dusting of snow, undisturbed by anyone or anything. It was magical. We stopped at a plateau to observe the view. Ridges for as far as the eye could see. The sky a cozy gray. The trees offering beautiful “nyun kkyot” – snow flowers. Mr. Nam turned to me. “I think you a very lucky woman. The mountain not always beautiful. But for you, always. From since, no, from now, I call you lucky woman.” I listened carefully. I am a lucky woman.

As we climbed we talked about many things – my family, his family, his siblings in Seoul, his daughter’s first day of school, where his wife swims, my school, my students… At one point while he was talking, I thought to myself, “This is my life now. This is a workday for me. Yet I can spend a glorious morning on the mountain with a friend. I’m not stressed out. I’m not worried about losing my job. This is nice. Life is good.”

As we rose higher on the mountain, it began to snow again. Maybe snow is not the appropriate way to describe what was happening from the sky. Dusting? Powdering? Falling gently? We reached another plateau where there was a cable car station and a coffee house. As we neared the buildings, I noticed two figures that looked like totem poles. “What are these?” I asked. Oh, those protect the building from evil spirits. I looked closer. They were grotesque. Contorted faces. Glaring eyes. Toothless scowls. If I was an evil spirit I’d stay away too.

Mr. Nam pointed to a far-away peak. See that? “Yes.” That’s Dong Bong. East Peak. “Yes.” That’s where we’re going. “Today?” Yes. Very good. “Okay…”

And we were off. Down, down, down. We had to traverse a valley then ascend another mountain to reach our final destination. As we were entering the valley, the temperature dropped by about 10 to 15 degrees. The snow became much deeper. Ice patches appeared. We stopped to don our ice clamps. The forest became much denser. The path was a mere snake, winding itself up and around, in and out of trees laden with whiteness. I had a sudden feeling of recognition. I’ve been here before. But it’s not possible. I quickly scanned the memories in my brain. Hiking, forests, snow, cold, other countries, no, no, no, no, no, but I know I’ve seen this before. Oh, my god. I am in C.S. Lewis’ Narnia. This was the exact image I had in my mind when I read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe in 3rd grade. At that moment Mr. Nam turned around. “Okay? You are quiet.” Yes, yes, just thinking. Then he laughed. I looked at him quizzically. “You, you have a crown of snow flowers in hair. You are snow queen.”

We began our upward climb again. We met hikers on their way down. Again, all older. Groups of housewives. Retired couples. “Annyong ha-sayo.” “Yaaaaaay.” I learned that the literal translation of this phrase (used as a greeting, a “hello”) is “Are you at peace?” I like that. Almost all of the hikers stopped to talk to Mr. Nam. He translated, “They say Dong Bong is very good. We must go.” Okay. As I passed a group of women one of them laughed at me and said something in Korean. Immediately I laughed and said, “Yaaaaaaaay.” A few steps later it struck me. I literally stopped. I was shocked. In Korean, she had said to me, “You need a hat.” I had understood what she said. At normal speed. The first time she said it. I almost started dancing I was so elated.

As we neared the summit, the winds became stronger, the snow heavier. The one thought going through my mind was, “I am so glad I brought my ski jacket.” Mr. Nam said, “Do you remember?” Remember what? “This. Here.” No. “Here – where we climbed last time. See?” Ohhhh, I do see. But, we didn’t take the same path did we? “No, many paths lead to peak. Different.” We rounded the corner and I saw the 99 steps. Up, up, up. At last. On the top. The wind stung my face. My ears burned from the cold. We quickly looked around. We couldn’t see very far into the distance, but it still was marvelous. The icy trees. The snow covered stones. The opaque grey of the sky laden with heavy clouds. “Ready?” Through chattering teeth, I mumbled, “Yes.” And down we went.

I forgot that Mr. Nam doesn’t climb down the mountain, he sprints. I tried to follow his pace, but I’m just not that coordinated. I can move fast. Or I can move adroitly. But not both at the same time. Then there was the issue of the ice clamps on rocks. We would come to random areas in which the snow had melted. And the rocks were exposed. I felt like I was wearing my first pair of high heels. I would put one ice clamp down on the rock and my ankle would turn. I would try to straighten it out and would slip. My earlier pride at learning Korean was diminished by my lack of success at walking, something I’ve been doing for much longer.

As we neared the end of the trail, Mr. Nam slowed down. He walked closer and closer to the stream. “What are you doing?” I asked. He smiled, I want to find a frog for you. We both laughed. But, unfortunately, no frogs were seen on Frog Day.

In the car, he said, “I very worried for you.” Why’s that? “You teach now. Until very late at night. I think you – tired.” Yes, I am tired (we had hiked for almost 5 hours), but it’s a good tired. I feel very, hmmm, renewed.

Back At The Ranch…

I quickly showered, donned my uniform (ugh), and headed to school, still feeling rejuvenated from the morning’s hike. This is what met me when I entered the teacher’s room:

A: This is so wasteful. Why did they give one of these to each of us? (holding a “Progress of Classwork” for each class, each book, about 150 pages. We each got information for all the classes, even the ones we don’t teach.)

Me: I know. It is wasteful. I suggested they place one master copy in the teacher’s room for reference. But they had already begun making copies. Maybe next time.

B: Or they could just post it on the school’s web site.

A: No, not on the web site. Some of us don’t spend our entire lives on the internet, you know.

C: Besides, our school web site is crap. I don’t want to have to deal with it.

A: But this is so wasteful.

C: I don’t care if it’s wasteful. It’s not my paper.

Me: But the trees. All of the trees.

C: I don’t care about trees. Besides, paper is made from trees grown specifically for that. It doesn’t matter if they’re killed.

D: Well, this is just the Korean way. Everything is last minute. You can try to tell them something. But there’s no planning. They’ll never listen.

A: God. Do you have to be so negative about everything? Just for once, can’t you listen to what is said and not have a negative comment?

Me – exit stage left. The contrast between my two environments of today was too stark for me to process. I retreated to an empty classroom to grade my papers in peace.

Feed Me…

That must be the vibe I’m sending out. During so-yae (calligraphy) lessons this morning Mr. Lee, the English teacher, asked me if I liked Korean food. “Oh, yes, very much.” What have you tried? “Let’s see, bibimbop, mandu, muul mandu, bulgogi, kimchi, dak kalbi, nang myeon,…” Have you ever tried raw fish? “Yes. Sashimi. Many times. In America and in Korea.” In America? White people eat raw fish? “Yes…” I don’t think so. “Really. Yes, they do.” How? “Well, I’m from San Francisco and there are many Japanese restaurants there.” At this point the other men stopped what they were doing and gathered around. “So I have tried sushi and sashimi. I like it.” We will all go out after lessons one day. We will feed you raw fish.

This is twice in less than 24 hours that an older man has told me he will feed me raw fish. It just seems a bit strange.

After so-yae I went to the gym. As I came out of the locker room, the guy that runs the gym motioned for me to sit down. There was something white and sticky and shaped like a fish on his table. Eat, he commanded. “What is this?” Fish cake. Eat. I picked up a piece. Very … glutenous. And chewy. Not unpleasant, though. It had some beans in it, I think. He put a cup of coffee in my hand. I smiled and offered a gracious “Khamsa hamnidda…”

I stopped by the school to pick up a package that had arrived for me. As I was getting ready to leave, Michelle came up to me. Here, for you! And put a cookie in my hand. I’m very grateful for all of these gifts of food, I just wonder why so many people want to feed me now…

All That’s Fit To Print…

Congratulations, Ev! A story about Blogging, with quotes galore from you, was in The Korea Herald! Unfortunately, the article wasn’t included in the online version.

Insha’Allah

Arabic – “as God wills it”

I was still feeling a bit bummed out about the events of the weekend today. I don’t teach on Mondays, so I decided to explore. I have seen many signs for Apsan Park, but have never been there. Lonely Planet describes it as such, “at 17 sq km is Daegu’s largest (park). The most notable attraction here is the cable car running 800 metres to the summit of Apsan, but you can walk up by following a 4 km trail. Bus nos 424, 750, and 910 head out to the park from the center of town.”

So I walked to the local N/S bus stop. No 424, 750, or 910 listed. Hmm. Let me try the E/W bus stop. Not listed. But, I can catch the 402 to downtown, then look for a sign that has 424, 750, or 910. How hard can that be, right? I carefully studied the transportation signs at each stop we made approaching downtown. No 424, 750, or 910. This may be more difficult than I thought. I decided just to get off the bus and wander. And lo and behold, there was a stop for the 424. I read the stops and Apsan was listed. I got on the bus and settled in, looking forward to a day of hiking. The bus circled around and started back towards my area of town. Hmmm. . . After a good 30 minutes it pulled into a terminal and the driver told me “bye. get off.” But, but, but, Apsan Park. He pointed to another bus. He was going on break. I got on the other bus amid stares from high school boys. The route circled in and around town, the warm sun beaming through the window, before I knew it, jerk! my head snapped up. I had fallen asleep. I quickly looked around. I had no idea where I was. The bus pulled to a stop and I thought I read “Apsan” in a blur so I hopped off. But I was on a major highway. Where was the park? I looked at my watch. I had been on buses for almost 2 hours. Ugh.

I stopped an elderly man. Apsan? Yaayyyyy. Odi? He pointed. So all I had to do was cross this major 6 lane highway, go up a hill, and I would be at the park. Okay.

I started up the trail and immediately felt better. Something about being on a mountain. Even if it’s a mountain beside a major city. The air seems fresher. The people seem nicer. Worries have a way of being, well, not so worrisome. The trail may have only been 4 km, but it was 4 vertical km. Straight up. I consider myself to be in good shape and I was panting. And noticed that I was, by at least 30 years, the youngest person on the trail. Everyone else was grandmother/grandfather age. Really. How are they doing this? I want to be doing this in 30 years. What’s their secret?

Two hajima were sitting on rocks by the path. As I approached I smiled and said, “Annyong ha-shimnikka.” The older of the two grunted and motioned me towards her. She held out a rice treat in her hand and placed it in mine. But it wasn’t just any rice treat. It was the Korean version of Rice Krispy treats, but instead of Rice Krispies, there were Sugar Smacks and instead of marshmallows, there was pure syrup. Jackpot, baby! I grinned, “Kamsa hamnida!” [insert very fast Korean phrase] “Miguk.” (I guessed she had asked me where I was from) [insert another very fast Korean phrase] “San Francisco.” She looked perplexed. “English teacher. Hogwan.” She nodded and smiled. [insert another very fast Korean phrase] “Lori-ga” She smiled again. “Kamsa hamnida. Annyong hi kay shipsayo!” and I was off.

Up, up, up. Pant, pant. Stop. Why didn’t I bring water? My legs were already burning. I hoisted myself up onto a level area. Oohhh. The view of the city. How amazing. How big. I had no idea Daegu had so many buildings and was so spread out. I stood there for several minutes, admiring the view, trying to locate landmarks.

I turned around to continue upwards. And there, sitting peacefully, was a man. I had not seen him before. “Annyong…” I started. “Hello,” he said. His English was quite good. He asked me how long I had been in Korea, why I was here, how did I get to the park, etc. Then, “Let’s continue.” We we walked on the trail together, continuing to talk. We live in the same area of town, but he works near Apsan. Import/export business. “Is your family in the US?” “Yes, mostly in North Carolina, but a sister and her family in Atlanta.” “But, your family. Your husband. Your children.” “Oh, I am not married.” “You are single? How can this be?”

I’ve never figured out how to address this. Is it just the family oriented Korean culture that makes people ask in disbelief how I’m still single? Or are they somehow implying there is something wrong with being single?

“Well, I was married. But now I’m divorced.” “Oh, I see. I thought so. I did not think you were not ever married. I think this is very common in America. Divorce.” “Well, yes. There are many divorced people. And in Korea?” “Oh, no. Not common. But becoming. As we get more westernized.” He pointed to a pile of stones. No, not a pile of stones, but a sculpture of stones. “Do you see that?” “Yes.” “One by one, hikers place a stone and say a prayer. And look how it has grown. Let us say a prayer.” So we each picked up a stone, placed it carefully on the stack, and said a prayer. Then continued up.

At what I thought was the top we rested. The best part of a hike. The summit. Sitting and reflecting on where you’ve just come from. How you’re feeling. Anticipating the trip back down. We talked a bit, then sat in silence. Then, we brushed ourselves off, stood up, and began walking. “Where are we going?” “Oh, there is the summit,” as he pointed to a rocky crag several hundred feet in the distance. “What? This isn’t the top?” “No, come on. We will go up over the top then back down the other side. It is better.” Okay. Only, once we got to the rocky crag the trail disappeared. Vanished. Nowhere to be seen. He started climbing the rocks, I followed. And I use the term climbing the rocks in the literal sense. Looking for a crevice to place your foot. Grasping for a hold for your hand. At one point I was flush against the rock, feeling, stretching, inching my fingers above me. There had to be another hold for me to pull myself up with. I glanced down. Okay. If I slip and fall, what is the worst that will happen? The fall won’t be so tremendous that I will die. I don’t think. I give myself a 98% chance of surviving a fall. But, I think I will have bruises. Yes, I definitely will have bruises. The chance of breaking a bone is very likely. Okay, where is that hold? As I pulled myself up and over the rock, he smiled and said, “You are very strong.” Yes, so are you. I wanted to ask him how old he was, but I’m not sure if that’s considered rude here. He has three grown children, so he must be at least mid-fifties? Early sixties? And he’s scaling rocks like a little mountain goat. At one point he offered his hand as I was approaching the final assent of a rock formation. “Thank you,” I said. “Oh, by the way, my name is Kim, Ki Hwan.” “I’m Lori.” “Ro-ri?” I smiled. Yes. Isn’t it odd that we had been hiking and talking for over an hour, and didn’t even know each other’s names?

We reached the real summit. So incredibly beautiful. Mountains in every direction. Ranges upon ranges upon ranges of mountains in the distance. Fading from blackish gray, to bluish gray, to silvery gray, to whitish gray, as the ranges got farther and farther away.

We started the descent. As we came down, down, down a mucky, slippery, leaf strewn path and rounded a corner, I heard laughter. They saw me before I saw them. Three shamans. In a cave. “Helllllll-lo!” I gasped. “Annyong…” and a woman ran out of the cave with a handful of candy. I received it with both hands and thanked her over and over. The two others came out to look at me. I smiled. Mr. Kim was further ahead on the path. I peeked inside the cave. To one side was a table where they were preparing food. To the other side were altars. Candles burning, dripping, flickering. Hundreds of candles. Tall, medium, short, nubs. Neatly in rows. The man gave me a last look, then went back inside the cave and started praying. The two women followed shortly thereafter.

I joined Mr. Kim. He explained, “They are shaman religion. They live in the cave. They pray to see the future.” Wow. There was a big sign outside the cave. “Oh, does this tell about them?” He let out a hearty laugh. “No. This cave is very famous. One of the very first leaders of Korea, many, many years ago, fled the Seoul area and hid here. His enemies never found him.” Cool. I offered him a piece of candy the shaman had given me.

We continued down, down, down. Close to the end of the trail we saw a temple. “Would you like to go in?” “Yes, I would. Thank you.” We crossed a small stream and approached the temple. Shoes off, we quietly entered the main hall. “Do you know how to pray in a temple?” “No, I don’t.” “I will teach you.” He showed me the proper order, hands folded together, drop to your knees, left palm down, right palm down, elbows to the floor, head bowed, palms facing upward. “You must do it at least three times. Everything three times.” As we were leaving the temple, he said, “You have prayed for many things today. Maybe something will come true.” “Maybe…” I began. “No, not maybe” and at that moment we both said, “Insha’Allah.” Our heads whipped towards each other. “Did you just say Insha’Allah?” I asked him. “Yes. Did you?” “Yes. But that is Arabic.” “Yes. Maybe your former husband was Arabic.” “No. I lived in Kuwait and Cairo.” Then he bust out with some serious Arabic phrases. Oh, oh, oh, schwaiya, schwaiya. I only remember a little. Back and forth, Arabic phrase upon phrase.

“How do you know Arabic?” I asked. It turns out before the Gulf War he had a very lucrative trading business not only with Kuwait, but with Iraq as well. He still does some business there, but not as much. He knew the neighborhood where I lived in Kuwait. We talked of hotels, of landmarks. We counted in Arabic.

When we reached the end of the path, he ventured one way, I another. “I want to feed you next week.” Sometimes translations come across in the strangest manner. “I want to feed you raw fish.” Okay. Next Monday. See you then.

I waited beside the road, trying to hail a cab. I popped another piece of candy in my mouth. It suddenly dawned on me. I was not following anything my momma taught me. Don’t take candy from people you don’t know. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t climb the side of a mountain without someone spotting you. Okay. I added the last one. But it’s a good piece of advice. I pondered over this until I arrived home a mere 15 minutes later. It turns out Apsan is almost directly beside my neighborhood. But so much is in the journey…

Did you ever see the Truman Show? I think that was the name of the movie. Where Jim Carrey was the star of a series, but he didn’t know it. His whole world was constructed for tv. Sometimes, just sometimes, I think my life is like that.

Friday night I had been invited to go to a Korean nightclub with 3 Koreans from work. I was very excited. One of my favorite things to do in San Francisco was to go dancing – clubs, live music, anywhere. On Friday afternoon, one of the girls called me to tell me that their boss (technically my boss, too) wanted to join us. Mr. Drunk Dialer in the middle of the night. Oh. She also told me that she thought he liked me, but to be very, very careful, because he was a “wolf.” Then she had to go. I was angry. Over a month ago Mr. Drunk Dialer and I had gone to dinner. He said and did some things that upset me. I told him I didn’t want to go out with him again. And told him not to call me anymore. Especially at 1 am. And now he had heard I was going out with his employees, so he invited himself along. What to do? Not go? Miss dancing? I chose to go ahead with my original plans.

I met the two girls at 7 to catch the bus to go downtown. On the bus we were chatting animatedly back and forth, discussing this and that. Girl #1 again told me, “Be careful. Mr. Drunk Dialer is, English word? Playboy? Many women?” I seeeeeee. We had a delicious dinner with boy #1 from work and his friend from university. Noodles, mandu, soup, so good. Conversation back and forth, some English, some Korean, some Konglish. And no Mr. Drunk Dialer. Maybe he decided not to come. Boy #1 suggested we go to a bar to have a drink before going to the nightclub.

I had just settled into my seat at the bar, and I felt someone hit me on the back very hard. Mr. Drunk Dialer had arrived. Why do guys think that by physically assaulting a girl it will endear him to her? I’ve never understood this. The mood at the table immediately changed. There was still conversation, but it was stilted. Careful. Not free flowing. After a couple of drinks we decided to head over to the nightclub. Mr. Drunk Dialer announced he had to meet other people. Yeah! So the remaining 5 of us crowded into a taxi and made our way to the nightclub.

The nightclub, was, well, large. Rows and row of tables surrounded by couches, almost Las Vegas lounge style. Then a stage at the front for dancing. We chose our couches, sat down, and platters of fruit and drinks magically appeared. The music was Korean techno. Not bad. Girl #1 grabbed my hand, “Ji-Su (my Korean name), let’s dance! Yes!” So we three girls trounced up to the stage. And danced and danced and danced. Laughing because I actually recognized some of the songs and sang along. And tried to avoid the stares. Once again, I was the only non-Korean. And no one told me about the dress code for the dance club. Basically, office dress. The girls were in turtleneck sweaters, knee length matching skirts, hose and pumps. With tiny gold chains circling their necks. Very prim and proper. Many of the men were in suits. I thought I had dressed somewhat conservatively, but in my stretchy black pants and v-neck, purple velour spandex top, again, I stood out. Again. The two guys came and joined us. Smiles and laughter. Music booming, switching partners, singing along.

Then Mr. Drunk Dialer arrived. He decided to come to the club after all. He immediately cornered me against the stage. “You know, I’m really hot, I’m going to rest for a moment,” and I left to sit at our table. A few moments later a slow song came on. Everyone joined me at the table. Mr. Drunk Dialer grabbed my arm. “You will dance with me.” First of all, don’t tell me what I will or won’t do. Second of all, I don’t want to dance. “No, you will dance with me. Now.” He pulled me to the dance floor. Everyone at the table stared, but no one said anything. On the dance floor he, in a drunken slur, mumbled, “I like you so much. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. Your smile. Your laugh. I want us to be very good friends.” Stop it. Now. This is completely inappropriate. I won’t go out with you. I can’t trust you. “You are so beautiful. It is fate that we are together.” We are *NOT* together. Stop. I left him on the dance floor and went back to the table.

The next song came on, another slow song. This time boy #1 from work said, “Would you like to dance?” Yes. Thank you. As we arrived to the dance area, he whispered, “Mr. Drunk Dialer cannot be trusted. Be very, very careful.” I feel like I’m in a Russian spy movie with everyone giving me secret messages. Back at our table, boy #1 and I were talking about sports. He was smoking. He dropped his cigarette on my hand. Ssssss . . . . My flesh was sizzling. Ow!ow!ow!ow!ow! I reached for an ice cube from a drink. He did, too. He pressed the ice cube to my hand as tears formed in the corners of my eyes. Just then girl #1 appeared in front of me and held up a handwritten note “I sorry. I must go. My mother angry.” Oh, okay. Let me get my coat. “No, no, you stay. I go.” No, really, it’s okay. The Girls Rule. Girls always leave together. We live next to each other; we can share a cab. With that I got my coat and purse, said goodbye and left.

In the cab, she almost started crying. “I so sorry. I so sorry.” What? What about? What are you talking about? “Boy #1. I so sorry. Please. He very drunk.” What are you talking about? “He, he, when talking, touched your arm.” Yes. Okay. “Please. He drunk.” What are you talking about? She covered her face with her hands. Sweetie, are you and boy #1 dating? Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? “NO. no. no. no. We friends. But what he did. Wrong.” Boy #1? Or Mr. Drunk Dialer? “Boy #1.” What did he do? She never would tell me.

Once home, I tried to process the night. What had happened? What had boy #1 done that was so out of line? I racked my brain, but couldn’t think of anything. The phone rang. I assumed it was girl #1, doing the “I’m home safely” call that girls do when they share a cab. “Lori, it’s Mr. Drunk Dialer.” Silence. “I wanted to make sure you got home okay.” I did. “ After you left boy #1 was so upset, I had to spend a lot of time calming him down.” What are you talking about? “Because he broadcast.” What? “Broadcast.” This conversation was going nowhere fast. Good bye. I hung up.

As if that weren’t enough, one of the teachers from the other school came over for dinner on Saturday night. He was describing how Mr. Drunk Dialer had taken his staff out for drinks, dinner, dancing, etc. on Thursday night. And that he got to meet his girlfriend. Girlfriend? “Yes, she’s really cool. But Mr. Drunk Dialer seems kind of sleazy.” Why do you say that? “Well, he took the guys aside and told them everything was on him for the night.” What’s sleazy about that – he sometimes does the same when he takes our staff out. “Does he offer to pay for the hotel rooms for you and Chanta?” What? “He told the guys he would pay for anything we wanted that night, cigarettes, alcohol, women, hotel rooms. Because he loves to f*ck, and wanted us to enjoy ourselves as well.”

This disgusts me. I wish it were only a movie plot.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned . . .

Real time update (it’s 2 am here). Some shit is going down in my hallway. And I wish I understood Korean. Cause I am curious.

There’s obviously a woman. And she wants to get into the apartment above me really badly. It is her mission to get into that apartment tonight. For the past 15 minutes she has not only been ringing the doorbell continuously, but shaking the door and shouting phrases in Korean. The doorbells here play various nursery rhyme-esque songs. So far I’ve heard Clementine (3 times); Yankee Doodle (twice); Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (4 times); It’s a Small World; Mary Had a Little Lamb (3 times) and various other tunes I recognize but can’t name. Our hallway lights are on self timers, so in between each ring of the doorbell the light must turn off, because she stomps across the landing, then returns to shaking the door. There’s something disturbing about hearing sweet nursery rhyme songs coupled with the violent rattling of a metal door. There’s obviously someone in the apartment, because he’s shouting something back, but he’s not opening the door. I’m not sure I would either. The joys of apartment living . . .

Lunch With Mr. Nam

After calligraphy lessons I hurried to DongA to meet Mr. Nam, my hiking buddy. He wanted to have lunch together. He, too, is a teacher at a hogwan (though he teaches math) so his days are free. This isn’t a bad life.

We went to the top of DongA to the Korean restaurant. We sat down at a table with a burner in the middle. The waitress came by, he ordered. This is an interesting thing I’ve noticed about eating here. Normally one person will order for the whole table. Sometimes that person will ask you what you want, but most of the time they won’t. Two of this. Three of that. I asked what he had ordered. He looked at me strangely and repeated what he told the waitress, “Shi-boo, shi-boo.” Yes, yes, I heard you, but what is it? “Meat. And rice. And I can’t remember the word in English.”

While we were waiting for the food to arrive, we chatted about what we had each done in the previous couple of weeks since our last hike together. His family and friends had come to town for sol-nal, I had gone to Po-hang, I had started calligraphy lessons. “Really? So-yae? You? You know Chinese?” No, but I’m learning. “Oh, I think this very, very good. For you mental condition, too.” Yes, I can always use something to help my mental condition.

The food arrived. A big pot of broth set to broil on the burner in between us. Two wooden trays of meat (maybe beef?) sliced paper-thin, rolled up like scrolls, stacked in a pyramid. Surrounded by lettuce cups filled with seasoned rice. “Like this, Rori.” He delicately picked up a scroll of meat with his chopsticks, put it in the bubbling broth, swished it around (it browned in seconds), shook the excess liquid from it, dipped it in a red sauce, placed it on a lettuce cup, then put the whole thing in his mouth. “You try.” Okay. I evaluated the various steps. Nothing new. Nothing I hadn’t done before. Just not all together. I accomplished all of the steps successfully until the very last. I had put the meat into the lettuce cup. In my right hand were my empty chopsticks. In my left had was the lettuce cup filled with rice and meat. Hmmmm . . . I needed both hands to put the lettuce cup in my mouth. Where to put my chopsticks? I tried to gently place them beside the tray of meat, avoiding the dozen or so bowls of sprouts, kimchi, spinach, etc. that had been placed on the table. Somehow, after placing them on the table, before I could get the lettuce cup to my mouth, something (maybe my elbow?) hit a chopstick, sending it catapulting into the air. No. No. Not another chopstick incident. It somersaulted through the air, I reached to grab it, missed, and sent it flying into the center burner. Under the boiling pot. To his credit, Mr. Nam didn’t look surprised at all. Or maybe that’s to my discredit. He pecked at my glowing chopstick (it was metal) with his chopsticks, pulled it out of the flame, placed it to the side, and offered me another chopstick from the box on the table. And continued the conversation as if nothing unusual had happened.

Ko-Ryo

I mentioned to Mr. Nam I had attended the concert on Sunday for the Ko-Ryo people. “Ko-Ryo? What is that?” Koreans living in Russia. “Oh, yes, yes. Good?” Yes, the dances were beautiful. But, why are there Koreans in Russia? “Oh, this is very difficult to explain.” Okay.

“Many, many years ago Japan did terrible thing. Overtake Korea. Very bad. 1910. Much fighting. You understand?” Yes. Continue. “Many Koreans fight back. Very bad. Japan won. Very bad. People who fight Japan, in trouble. Can’t stay in Korea. Understand?” Yes. “So they left. To China. To Russia. Lived there. Japan – in Korea for 36 long years. Very bad. Understand?” Yes. Go on. “So, in China, in Russia, make lives. Sometimes marry. Make neighbors. Economy in China, Russia, Korea, very bad. Yes?” Yes. “Now, economy in Korea very good. Economy in China, Russia very bad. But they stay. Maybe married. Maybe don’t know people in Korea. But hard life. So we send help.” Thank you, I understand now. Wow.

Dates, Dates, Dates. . .

After lunch he took me to the hog-wan that he owns. Mr. Nam’s Math Academy. He gave me a tour and we talked about students’ schedules (he thinks they go to too much school, too), the weather, hiking, then he pulled out a calendar so we could schedule our next hike. We decided on next Wednesday. There was a special notation on the date. Kyong Jik. What’s that? He laughed. “It’s frog day.” What? “Day when frogs no hibernate, come out, many, many frogs. Springtime.” Oh, so we will see many frogs on our hike on Wednesday? He laughed again. “No.” No? Why not? He laughed again. But didn’t answer.

Other interesting dates: March 1 – Independence Movement from Japan Day; April 5 – Plant Tree Day; May 5 – Children’s Day; May 8 – Parent’s Day; May 15 – Teacher’s Day; May 19 – Buddha’s birthday. I can’t wait until the last one. That sounds so cool. To celebrate Buddha’s birthday. We only got through May. Maybe on Wednesday we’ll finish the calendar. .

“Helloooooooo, Baby”

This has happened several times. And I still fail to see the logic in it.

As I’m walking down the street I see maybe one, maybe a group, of men on the sidewalk. Chatting, hanging, chilling.

As I get closer I hear a man clear his throat. Okay, not just clear his throat. Bring forth the most tremendous hawker/lougey/whatever you want to call it. And as I approach, spit. Right in front of me. I usually have to adjust my pace so that I am not the recipient of said projection.

But this is what kills me. As I walk by, carefully avoiding what has just been spit onto the sidewalk, he inevitably says, “Hellllllooooooooo” and the Korean equivalent of “How you doin’?”

Why do you think I want to talk to you after you just about bombarded me with your mucas and saliva? Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I just don’t find that attractive. Go figure.