Mom has become more and more agitated over the past few days. The meds they have for her – morphine, lorazepam, haloperidal – don’t seem to help settle her anymore. Beginning around 5:30 am when the quetiapine that she takes to help with sleep wears off, she attempts to climb out of her hospital bed, not realizing that her brain’s signals don’t quite make it to her legs anymore, and she will simply crumble if she tries to stand. She scoots closer and closer to the edge, til I wake up and see what she’s trying to do. I bounce over, lift her legs, and swivel her hips back onto the bed, then crawl in beside her. I snuggle up and pin her legs in mine, keeping them from drifting towards the edge of the bed. Temporarily. Eventually she wriggles free. She’s determined to be upright, so I roll the geri chair over to her bedside. I help her sit on the edge of the bed, legs swinging off the side. I explain what I’m about to do. “Give me a big hug, Mama. I’m going to lift you up, then we’ll sit in the chair, okay?” I lift her up and she groans. I sit her in the chair and place blankets over her legs before gently reclining her. We roll into the living room and sit in the rays of sun coming through the window. Within a few minutes, her legs are slowly moving to the side of the footrest. She wants up. I gently center her legs on the footrest. She grabs at the air, her arthritic fingers tapping. “Come in!” She yells. “Who’s here, Mama?” She stares at me blankly then closes her eyes again, more in her world than in mine. This cycle goes on, over and over. She becomes more and more agitated each time I move her feet back to the center of the footrest. 

She suddenly bolts upright, opens her eyes, and yells, “ICE CREAM!” I can’t stifle the laugh that is rising, and am grateful for the momentary diversion. “Would you like some ice cream, Mama?” She has already leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. “Mm hm…” she mumbles. I bring her an ice cream sandwich, feeding it to her minuscule bite by bite, thankful she is at peace, at least for a bit.