Jerry Ain’t Got Nothing

Springer, that is.

Lori: Aunt Magie, how’s Karl (another relative, early 20s) doing?

Magie: Well, good ‘nough, with all the c’motion goin’ on.

L: Huh? What are you talking about?

M: You didn’ know ’bout him and Karoline?

L: No. Who’s Karoline?

M: His wife. Um. No, ex-wife. That Justin (Karl’s cousin) done made a baby with.

L: Wait a minute. Justin got Karoline, Karl’s wife, pregnant? How’d that happen? No, no, no. I know how it happened. But, are you sure?

M: Mm. Well, see, Karl went and found a letter in Karoline’s pocketbook, from Justin, when that baby was only 2 months ole. They divorced now.

L: So, Karoline has custody of the baby?

M: Mm hmm. And that baby is the spittin’ image of Justin. (Justin is the adopted son of Aunt Magie’s daughter, the illegitimate son of the daughter’s college roommate at Bob Jones University…)

L: So, will Karoline and Justin get married?

M: Mm. I don’ think so. They datin’ and all but they don’ get along. Don’ know what’s gone happen.

L: (thinking to myself – they must’ve gotten along at one point….)

What’s so amazing about this is that *I’m* the one they are constantly “witnessing” to. Because I’m divorced. Because I live in San Francisco. Just makes me want to shake my head and say, Mm. Law…