Rat Tail

I’ve written before about the lack of rats I’ve seen here, despite the absolute opportune conditions. Today, I met my match.

The typhoons continue. Steady, solid rain. For hours that turn into days that turn into nights. I’m somewhat disappointed that they aren’t storms. No thunder, no lightning to spice it up. Just a slow, monotonous, continual downpour from the heavens.

I was walking to so-yae, my umbrella not really doing any good. As I stepped in puddles I couldn’t avoid, water splashed over my sandals, soaking my toes, splattering my bare legs. I was walking in perfect time with a small, elderly Korean woman in front of me. I focused on her unusually bright yellow umbrella scattered with bold red flowers, right at my eye level. For blocks I walked behind her, left, right, left, right. The rhythm lulled me. I wasn’t focusing on the rain, only the steady pace of the yellow umbrella in front of me.

Suddenly, I was startled by a movement on my right. The umbrella, and woman, had jerked to one side. I snapped out of my hypnosis. I looked down. I screamed, “Oh, my god!” There, only inches from my wet, bare toes, was a ferocious rat, baring his sharp teeth, his beady eyes glaring. Our eyes locked. Yes, logically I realize I am what, 100 times (if not more) his size. Nonetheless, my stomach was in my throat. I don’t like vermin.

I stared at the creature for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I bared my teeth and hissed. It worked. He scampered off along the stone wall lining the sidewalk. The elderly woman looked me up and down and began laughing hysterically. I smiled. She started walking, I once again fell in step behind her. At the stoplight, we waited to cross the street. Another elderly lady approached. My friend with the bright yellow umbrella animatedly told her what had happened. They both stared at me, speaking rapidly in Korean, laughing the whole time. Not understanding anything they said, I smiled, then crossed when the green man appeared.

At so-yae I related my morning of terror. Mr. Lau, funny man, asked me where the rat was. I reiterated it had been on the sidewalk, just a stone’s throw from where we now sat. “No, no, no, where now?” I’m afraid I don’t understand. He then pantomimed picking the rat up by the tail, snapping its neck, and barbecuing it. All the grandfathers laughed hysterically at the look upon my face once I realized his meaning. I really hope this was their idea of a joke…