Instruction Has Taken An Interesting Turn…

At so-yae. A couple of days ago I was practicing the Chinese symbols for earth (pronounced “gee”) down the right side of my scroll, then on the left side writing the Chinese character for son (pronounced “ja”). Mr. Lau (funny man) works across the table from me. He saw what I was writing and began singing a nonsense song, “gee, gee, gee, gee, ja, ja, ja, ja” over and over again, clapping his hands and laughing hysterically. Shortly thereafter, he left to have a cup of tea. Mr. Kim (my translator) and I were the only two in the room. He tiptoed over to me and told me he had to tell me something veeeeeeeeeery important.

I put my brush down and looked at him. He pointed to the symbol for earth and said, “gee – Chinese pronunciation. You see – you say.” Okay. Gee. “But Korean word is ttang.” Okay. He pointed to the symbol for son and said, “ja – Chinese pronunciation. You see – you say.” Yes. “But Korean word is ah-dul.” Yes. “But…” and with this he leaned closer to me and started whispering, “only ever, ever, say gee ja,” and he stared at me with wide eyes. I nodded. Okay. “Because, you say, ja-gee, in Korean, it means…” and even though we were the only two in the room, he looked to his right, then to his left, then over his shoulder, then, ever so softly, whispered, “penis.” I, trying to match his solemnity, but not doing a good job, nodded and said Okay. He then looked at me intently. “You understand?” I stared back. Yes. “You know what…” and again he looked to his right, to his left, then over his shoulder “penis means?” At this I just stared. Surely he jests. He knows I was married. He knows I’m 33, or 35 by his count (Korean age – adding the year I was in the womb plus one for the Lunar New Year). But he was so serious. So, I, as seriously as I could, whispered, Yes, I know what it means. I will be careful.

The next day I arrived to so-yae and Teacher Song immediately took me aside. I followed him. He pointed to a paper hanging on the wall. He had written the Chinese characters for “virginity” “chastity” “purity” “virtue” and “goodness,” along with the Korean words, *and* the English translations. He had spent some time on this. He pointed to each one, saying the Chinese pronunciation, the Korean word, the English word. “Learn-na!” I almost smiled, then thought maybe that would be considered impudent, so merely nodded and said, Yaaaaayyyyyyy.

Today, I arrived while the men were already enjoying “ko-pee time.” I sat down to the right of Teacher Song and joined their conversation. Sort of. I mostly just sipped my coffee and watched them argue, discuss, banter, cajole. Teacher Song showed me the front page of the newspaper. It pictured many beautiful flowers in bloom – in parks, in the forest, various natural settings. As he pointed to the myriad of blossoms, he would say the Korean word, I would offer the English version. He came to one that resembled what we referred to in North Carolina as “pink lady’s slipper.” I wasn’t aware that it grew anywhere outside of the Appalachian mountains, but this surely looked like it. I offered the name, with a pantomimed translation, saying it might be that, I wasn’t sure. At that point, Mr. Kim, sitting to my right, took the paper and started laughing. In English (which the others barely understand) he laughed and said, “This flower. We call…” and he laughed uncontrollably. The others seemed to know what he was going to offer; they laughed as well. I waited. He regained his composure. “This flower. We name it… dog balls.” I just stared. What? “Yes. You know? Balls. Testicles. Look. They look like dog balls.” Welllllll. Wasn’t the first thought that came to my mind, but….

Teacher Song appeared agitated. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow’s lesson will be.