Ladies’ Night

Michelle, Cindy and I had plans to go downtown for dinner and shopping tonight. I met them at the school at 6, we caught the bus and we were on our way. Whenever I’m with them, I feel like I’m back in junior high school. For one thing, they both look incredibly young. On Michelle’s first day at work I mistook her for a new high school student. They have such an aura of sweetness about them. We always walk arms intertwined and usually end up giggling more than talking. And, it could be the language barrier, but the topics we end up talking about are very, well, interesting. They are very curious. They want to know what type of cosmetics I use. My favorite color of underwear. What I eat for each meal. What Korean pop stars I know. Who I think is cute.

We ate first at XN Milano, a large department store downtown with restaurants on the top floors. We decided on Chinese food – yummy. Over dinner I turned to Michelle and said, “You were very upset on the way home last Friday night. In the cab. Remember? (she nodded) I don’t understand why. Could you explain?” And here’s where life imitates art once again.

The Saga Continues…

Cast of characters. Me. Mr. Drunk Dialer. Boy #1. Michelle. Cindy. Boy Teacher #1, Boy Teacher #2 (neither present Friday night)

Hierarchy. Michelle and Cindy work for Boy #1. Mr. Drunk Dialer is Boy #1’s direct boss. Mr. Drunk Dialer is Michelle and Cindy’s indirect boss. He is sort of my boss.

Michelle explained Boy #1 has a crush on me. But, he thinks I like Mr. Drunk Dialer. So he was distraught on Friday night. Because he had organized the whole evening then Mr. Drunk Dialer invited himself along. He is friends with Michelle (as well as her boss). The more he drank, the more distraught he became. He was sharing his feelings with Michelle, but started touching *her* inappropriately (in her opinion – however, in the cab, she was so upset she said he was touching *me* inappropriately), holding her arm while he spoke, etc. She was very uncomfortable.

I suggested maybe he likes *her*. She interjected that maybe, but that would do [Korean word] to her. I looked up the word. Damage. Damage? Because he’s your boss? No, because he’s a different social class. Oh. My. Okay. Continue.

Then, to make matters worse, Michelle is, as she put it, “madly in love” with Boy Teacher #1. But she just found out Boy Teacher #1 is dating someone. And she likes this woman, so she is torn. She wants to hate her, because she loves Boy Teacher #1, but she is her friend. And Boy Teacher #2 is making advances towards her. She doesn’t like him at all. But he won’t get the picture that she doesn’t want to go out with him. He asks her, she says she can’t go, he asks her for another date, she says no, he continues. So all of these culminated on Friday night and she was distraught as well. The interesting thing is that all of the women in this scene were sober, all of the men were drunk. And I still couldn’t understand it.

I’m telling you, this is a tv show waiting to happen.

Photo Op

But on to the rest of the evening. We walked through the department stores, looking at this, looking at that. Trying on sunglasses, hats, makeup. Then, they wanted to get our picture taken. What? Pictures? What do you mean? And they pulled me into a, well, Glamour Shots, but without the glamour, type of place. “Friends. Pictures. Okay?” Well, okay. So we got our pictures taken. The photographer looked at me and shook his head. Very tell. Very tall. He had to adjust just about everything. The lighting. The stool. The table. He arranged us in several poses. Click. Look. Pretty. Click. Click. Good. Click. Click. Click. Okay. Bye.

Oops, I Did It Again…

We exited the studio. I mentioned I needed to get a haircut (meaning in the next few days). Michelle and Cindy dragged me upstairs into a salon. Oh. Not tonight. Really. “No, this good salon. Very good.” But, they were closing. No haircut for the miguk tonight. Michelle and Cindy chatted back and forth in Korean, giggled, then pulled me in another direction. Where are we going? I asked. “Karaoke!” they both giggled. I’m such a bad singer. “Us, too!” No, really, I took a singing class for people who are tone deaf. heehheheheheheheee. We arrived at the karaoke establishment. Which was not a bar, but a collection of rooms. Each group got a private room, where you could sing and dance to your heart’s desire. As soon as we entered the room, Michelle started pressing the buttons. She was a pro. She had a VIP card. She knew what she was doing. Disco lights were spinning; the room was transformed into gyrating rainbows. And Britney Spears was blaring. I really am in junior high. We had 2 microphones and a yellow tambourine. Song after song after song. After they had chosen several Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and Ricky Martin songs, I suggested we sing a Korean song. Oh, yeah! they giggled. I don’t know the name of it, but I know the tune. And the words are right there on the screen, right? How hard could this be? I think I actually sang about 25% of the song. Mostly the last syllables of words: yo, ka, sa-yo, hay. Trying to process flashing Korean characters while singing to a tune you’re not *that* familiar with – it’s a task. But it was fun nonetheless.

At one point Michelle turned to me and said, “Since Boy Teacher #1 no love me – you sing me a love song, okay?” Okay, Michelle. Unchained Melody. But it was the traditional version, not the techno rap one I normally hear in the bars here. Though, I think that would have been more entertaining – techno rap Korean Unchained Melody sung by a tone deaf miguk.

We ended the night with “Under the Sea” because they said I looked like a mermaid the first night they met me – New Year’s Eve, with all my sparkles. As we were leaving, I realized we had laughed non-stop for almost 2 hours. I thought we were heading home, but they said no, we needed to pick up our pictures. They really did turn out cute. We chose the poses we liked the best, then they printed copies for us. While we were waiting for the copies, Michelle and Cindy tried to explain the whole Valentine’s Day, White Day, Black Day, phenomenon again. And I had not even gotten half the story before.

Hallmark, You Ain’t Even Got Game

Valentine’s Day was February 14 – the day for girls to give boys candy and frilly baskets. White Day is coming up next week – March 14 – the day for boys to give girls frilly baskets. Then there is Black Day – April 14 – for people who don’t have sweethearts to go to cafes and eat Chinese black noodles and hope to meet someone. Then May 14 is Ring Day, when you give a ring to a friend, companion, or lover. In June there is Rose Day, when boys give girls a single rose. Then we jumped to December, Kiss Day. But got sidetracked because when they said the word for “kiss” it is very similar to the word for “waterfall” so I thought they were describing waterfall day and I just couldn’t understand. Then our pictures were ready.

As we were looking at them, Michelle’s phone rang. She looked at the number, giggled, and handed the phone to me to answer. “Jobsa-yoooo.” It was Jin Young from work. He had just gotten out of class at the university and wanted to join us. Minutes later he was in the photo shop with us. He looked at the photos and said in Korean that they looked pretty but that I looked like Michelle and Cindy’s grandmother. I turned to him, “Agashi, ani-o ho-monii imnida.” Old man, I am not a grandmother. I’m sure the grammar wasn’t correct, but he understood and burst out laughing. “Who is this Korean with you?” he asked Michelle and Cindy.

Ghosts In The Machine

As we were walking to his car, he was making jokes about “ghosts” in the neighborhood. Look! He would point to nothing but thin air. Meet my friends the ghosts. I began talking to the “ghosts” in Korean, using every phrase I could remember. Hi, my name is Lori. Pleased to meet you. The weather is cold. I like coffee. Turn left here. He looked at me, shook his head, then pointed again. There, American ghosts. Speak to them. English only. Michelle and Cindy nudged him. Leave her alone. Let her speak Korean.

In the car, we were talking about our favorite restaurants. Jin Young turned to me, “Do you like sashimi?” No. Not the raw fish conversation again. Please. Yes, I do. And you? “Yes, it’s my favorite.” And in unison, we both said, “I take you to eat raw fish one day.” He looked at me in surprise, Michelle and Cindy and I just giggled. The perfect ending to a perfect evening.